Island I am an island eyelids pried wide shut I am in love with who I must not touch I am ashamed shape-shift facelift airbrush I am an idea built to worship not to love I am a stone-face glass-case crack flash-flood You are a secret I don't trust with anyone I am a wet fish dangling death wish kill me now this impotent touch I am an island I am blinded newborn deer vs. ten-ton truck I am an Island Stay away from me I am an island eyelids pried wide shut I am in love with who I must not touch

Thicker Than Blood I’m understanding the cliché to feel nostalgic on a train ‘Cause I know nothing’s changed but nothing feels the same The icicles above my bed are dripping water on my head And keep me dreaming of the home I had instead I’ve been so resilient I just wish you would try To make this house a place that I can make my home But if you won’t light a fire, then I’ll sleep in the snow Every picture is collapsed, all these boxes stay unpacked Because the memories just hurt too fucking bad Nothing good can ever last, nothing here could ever mask The undying pain of dealing with the fact That the past is in the past is in the past and that’s that And there’s no sense in standing still because I’m busy looking back I’ve been so resilient I just wish you would try To make this house a place that I can make my home But if you won’t light a fire, then I’ll sleep in the snow Blood is thicker than water But family’s thicker than blood I have the eyes of my father And the heart of a stranger’s son I’m understanding the cliché to feel nostalgic on a train ‘Cause I just know the holidays won’t be the same But distance can’t delineate, separate roofs can’t separate The bind that time has forged I know will stay

I’m too loved to be lonely I’m too blessed to be sad I’m too drunk to be alone now I need your warmth in my bed There’s so much love all around me And I’m too scared to let it in I resent you for what you’ve made me A beaten dog in shaking skin What do you tell your friends when they ask you, how’d it end? And what do you tell yourself at night to fall asleep in that icy bed? I’m too loved to be lonely I’m too blessed to be sad I’m too in love to be alone now I need your warmth in my bed Calling you would only make it worse I’m small, pathetic, lonely, and perverse You are both the pain and the escape I come to you to realize what I hate So I’ll take all the anger in my life and point it all at you And crush this tainted love until it dies ‘cause I need someone new So if you ever feel like taking your life again, Don’t hesitate to call someone whose love you haven’t pushed away ‘Cause some sins are too big to forgive, But I’m trying to forget I love you I hate you I feel terrible Sincerely, Ben

Product I’m afraid this city’s turned us into productivity machines Products of forces far above and beyond you and me A sunset isn’t beautiful unless it’s caught on film And no one cares about your music unless other people do It’s this title wave of handshakes and ‘hello, how-are-you’s That makes it all feel so normal, disguising the truth That people here are here to get what they want to get out of it And if you’re not an asset then you’re pretty much irrelevant No one lives up to the standard, that’s what keeps us at bay Always two inches to short to ride this ride Standing in line with an equals-sign over your head Quantifying your worth, monetizing your hurt, capitalizing the earth And every aspect of life pervades and perverts and distills and distorts and desserts We revert to creatures divided and conquered Consumers, producers and dreamers who wander the street Alone in the middle of the night trying to find inspiration in the corners of life In a merciless system whose power derives From people who prosper off powerful lies Like function is value and money is time That rhyme is the reason and x equals y but why? Make your statement in the name of what you love If you don’t realize what it’s worth then you will never be enough This place has shaped me but it’s not where I am from I’m only passing through just like everyone I know it’s easy to play the victim, blame the system, be a symptom But this sickness has to be stopped at the source Each one of us will reinforce the rule until we find a way to rise above It’s why adults say they can’t sing while children dance like they’re in love With every color in the solar system Circulating blood into the hearts of the unshaken Shining light on what we’ve lost The cost of growing old and staying in control means never letting go Or giving life the chance to change your mind and move your soul Every judgment is self-judgment, thus we are what we despise And we will stay that way until we find the love to empathize Make your statement in the name of what you love If you don’t realize what it’s worth then you will never be enough This place has shaped me but it’s not where I am from I’m only passing through just like everyone

You found me quietly drowning and picked me up out of my head As quick as you came you were gone and there I was left Crystalized in that moment in time and what you said the night you left I still remember I drove thirty-six hours in the snow for you I'm seeing this through And I won't rest until I'm lying next to you I've gotta see you We spent the winter like two refugees on a broken down train Roaming that ghost town like characters lost in a childhood dream Crystalized in that moment in time and what you said the night you left I still remember I drove thirty-six hours in the snow for you I'm seeing this through And I won't rest until I'm lying next to you I've gotta see you I can't forget the night you left You looked at me, you smiled and said, "If we don't see each other again, That'd be fine, that'd be just fine 'cause it was real and it was right"

Clean Break Clean break I won't let this slip away I have come too far to give up now I'll make these wasted days and empty pages fuel the firelight I'll make it work this time I was broken, lost and locked up in my head I just wish I could've told you that back then All my heart and all my sorrow flounders in the wake of a sensible lie Clean break I won't let this slip away I have come too far to give up now I'll make these wasted days and empty pages fuel the firelight I'll make it work this time Clean break In this final scene with nothing left to say And when you wish me well I know you wish I'd stay All my heart and all my sorrow balanced on the brink of a final goodbye Clean break I've been waiting for this day but I can't accept or save our separate fates I know my road, I'll build my home with or without you so don't leave me on this note And if this ship goes down and we wash up on solid ground then we will stand, fight, and make it worth this life Clean break I won't let this slip away I have come too far to give up now I'll make these wasted days and empty pages fuel the firelight I'll make it work this time Clean break Written, Produced & Mixed by Ben Lapidus© Arranged by Ambler Engineered by Ben Lapidus, Jacob Blumberg of Mason Jar Music, and Aaron Bastinelli of Converse Rubber Tracks Mastered by Alan Silverman of Arf Productions

Emerge It’s been six years since I felt the innocence I used to dream, to drift, to let myself believe But I let go, I let time move on without me I don’t know why I build these walls around me I don’t know I don’t know if this makes sense, But I can feel a difference I woke up, hands toward the skies Saw my future in your eyes And I know And I know I left you to pay the debt and clear the air I care, I just wasn’t that careful I let go, I let distance get between us I don’t know I don’t know if this makes sense, But I can feel a difference I woke up, hands toward the skies Saw my future in your eyes And I know This feeling’s a phase, it will end And I’ll emerge as the person I am I’ve been lost for so long but now When these walls come down We’ll be safe and sound

Prodigal Son Last night I tortured my head I thought about all the things I never said And I hated myself for not speaking out then Keeping quiet, just being your friend So c’mon I’ll carry the weight I’ll be your father if that’s what it takes You can’t paint me the villain or make me a prop You can hate me for all that you’re not But brother, how could you do what you’ve done to our mother? You love her, I know How do you stomach it? Where will you run when the bottom it hits and I hope that it does And you fall to your knees and you weep just for once With the weight of our pain and the damage you’ve done And you realize it’s time You can keep living or keep getting high I try to reach out and I fall I’ve given so much and you’ve squandered it all It’s the same story so many suffer and fall With the family they frame on the wall Brother, how could you do what you’ve done to our mother? You love her, I know How do you stomach it? Where will you run when the bottom it hits and I hope that it does And you fall to your knees and you weep just for once With the weight of our pain and the damage you’ve done With the shame and despair of the shell you’ve become And you come back, oh come back Our prodigal son I don’t want to hate you, I don’t I just can’t keep clutching, I have to let go So I’ll try to accept that I have no control But I’ll carry the hope that I hold

Orenda Circle There are handprints in the sidewalk on Orenda Circle stock-still over time Our lives shift and diverge like back when Sarah slept the whole 8-hour drive We arrive at separate plot points like the sprawling roots that ground our parents lives And I don’t know if John will ever get clean Or if our parents’ rift will tear the seams There’s a train on the northern shore of Maine To a city I don’t know but recognize There’s a street with a canopy of leaves Where I’ll rest my head with all my heart and pride We drew growth-lines by the stairwell and surrendered to the vast unfolding page In the living room we learned to cry together, gathered humbly by a flame There’s a symmetry to all these random waves of fractured frames like splintered wood or splattered paint And I don’t know if Jess will ever leave home Or if our parents’ love is set in stone There’s a train on the northern shore of Maine To a city I don’t know but recognize There’s a street with a canopy of leaves Where I’ll rest my head with all my heart and pride There’s a train on the northern shore of Maine To a city I don’t know but recognize There’s a street with a canopy of leaves Where I’ll rest my head with all my heart and pride There’s a train on the northern shore of Maine To a city I don’t know but recognize There’s a street with a canopy of leaves I will call my home with all my heart and pride